Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Boobs are out for the taking
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
