It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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