I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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