do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
