Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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