I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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