Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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