What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
