I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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