Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize