I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
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