I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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