Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
smell my finger.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
