As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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