Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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