why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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