I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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