I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
