Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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