is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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