I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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