ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
