kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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