It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
