If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
