Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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