is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
