I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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