Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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