you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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