The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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