I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I need to sanitize my soul.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize