my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
