is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
