it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
