If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
