WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
