her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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