piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
