I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
