remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
