Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
