its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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