Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
