I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
