So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
