i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
