exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
