He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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