i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
