oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
