Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
