Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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