He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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