Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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