New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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