I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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