Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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