Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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