Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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